My Life to Live

2009-08-31T07:06:00.000-07:00

So, it's almost been a month since I last posted anything. Not sure why it's been so long...I've had a lot of things to say, but I suppose with most of them, it was just easier to keep things to myself. A lot has happened over the last month..the kids started school!! (Woo-Hoo!!!!!!) Ty started 1st grade and Sierra is Queen of her school and in 5th grade. They both got the teachers they had hoped for, which makes for an even awesomer (is that even a word, haha) year! Ty has a male teacher which he is excited about and Sierra has one of the highest rated teachers in her school. I'm glad Sierra has her, I'm excited to see her flourish under the guidance of this teacher! Same with Ty. Today is the second full week of school. I can't believe it's only been 2 weeks...feels like it's been longer for some reason. And it's not because I wake up at 6:15 or so each morning because I've been doing that all summer long since that is when Rich wakes up to leave for work. I guess time just slows down when it's me in the house alone (well, I'm not alone, the dog's here too and sometimes it seems like he's another child, lol). I have time to do everything I want. If I want the radio turned all the way up while I'm cleaning (which I'll be doing in a bit) than so be it. If I want to watch reruns of Roseanne, than so be it! If I wanna lounge around in pj's and do nothing, so be it. It's nice. I do sometimes miss the noise of them being in the house, but I don't see anything happening to change that.

Sierra and Ty started soccer practice last week. Sierra on Tuesday and Ty on Thursday. If I put them in Youth Group this year, they'll go on Weds.....it's gonna be a busy year! But, I wanted to get them involved in activities outside of the school and I needed to get used to such a really busy schedule since Sierra will be in Middle School next year. (AHHHHHHH!!!! SO not ready for that!) Both Sierra and Ty have male coaches. Sierra tends to shy away from males, so we'll see how she does. I wasn't able to go to her first practice because I had a PTA Meeting at school I had to be at. Rich and Ty went. Rich said she did ok. There's only one girl on her team she knows, but at least Sierra and Rachel like each other and get along. They are also the oldest girls on the team. The Park District splits the age levels up, so Sierra's team is all girls, and they're in grades 3rd-5th. Ty has a few friends on his team. I was at his practice, and he just pretty much did whatever he wanted to do. We need to get him to understand that he needs to stop showing off to the Parents on the side lines and pay attention to one of the coaches. Maybe I need to say something to the coach on Thursday? We'll see. I'm sure they know how to deal with the kids. I didn't get any pics of them. I will get pics of them Saturday. They both have games on Saturday. Not sure of the times yet, I hope the coaches let us know in advance so I can let some of Rich's family know in case they wanna show up. I will definitely be taking pics on Saturday though. I haven't seen Sierra in her full uniform and Ty doesn't even have his yet. Ha, Jenny the soccer Mom. I'm totally gonna find something that says that. I need like a tshirt or a decal for the car or something. I'm hoping Sierra really likes soccer and ends up sticking with it all thru Middle and High School. I am thinking Ty will end up loving it and want to do it again.

Sierra had her first sleep over of the year this past weekend. The girl I watch after school, Gailyn stayed over on Friday night. The kids had a blast! Ty fell asleep at about 10, but the girls were up even later than I was. I gave up and called it a night at about 12:45 or so and went in my bedroom and once I layed down I was out. The girls acted silly, lots of giggling cam from behind Sierra's bedroom door. I heard some talk about boys they thought were cute...both celebrities and boys at school. Ughh, I am so not ready for that yet! Sure, when I was in 5th grade, I had silly school crushes and a major crush on Johnny Depp (who I still adore to this day!!), but I was just hoping she'd stay my innocent little girl forever! I don't want her walking in her Momma's footsteps. At least not all of them, some of them were fine! The girls did crazy make overs on each other...I'll have to put those pics up. They were crazy!!

Rich has a 4 day work week this week. He's working 4 ten hour days and has Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday off. I can't believe Labor Day is upon us already! The pool's closing this weekend. What a shame too! It wasn't warm enough most of this summer to go to the pool. Lots of days in the 70's and even some days in the 60's. I'm slightly irritated that we spent the $180 for pool passes this year and only used them maybe 10 times. Which isn't so bad because they did end up paying for themselves, I just wish we could have gone more. Especially since they were so expensive! I want to do something this weekend, but I have no idea what. We're broke...money is always tight when rent is due, and on top of that...Ty's 7th birthday is in 13 days. We're not having his party until the 19th though, I'm almost certain of it. I really need to figure it out and get invites made up though, and soon! Can't believe my baby is gonna be 7!! Where does the time go!?

I'm still looking for a job. I plan on spending a little bit online this morning searching the job sites. I need something, I will be happy with part time even. Ideally I'd like to work during the day when the kids are in school, but right about now I'd take anything. Especially with Christmas coming. Can't believe that's already around the corner!! This year has flown by! Next year is 2010...shocking! I'll be married for 10 years in May. TEN years. Holy shit!! Haha! Can't believe it. Sometimes it feels a lot longer and sometimes it feels like there is no way it's been that long. I married Rich when I was 19, I'll be 29 in Feb (yuck..one more year closer to 30). Sierra walked 2 weeks after we got married to the day. I'll always remember how she was asleep thru our whole ceremony and the last half of our reception. :o)

Anyways...I'll post some pics and then I have to get stuff done around the house. I am on 2 committees at the kids school and I chair one by myself. I am on the fundraising committee and we have a ton of deadlines this week. So, I'll be busy with that. I am on the Hospitality committee...we are in charge of the teacher luncheons. And I am the Box Top Coordinator. This is the one taking up a lot of my time so far. I want to have coolection boxes in all 18 of our classrooms and have one in the teacher's lounge. So, I've been collecting boxes and covering them in construction paper and decorating them with 'Bees' which is our school mascot. I wanted to have them all done by this week, which isn't gonna happen. So I need to have them done by next week so I can put them in each class. So...if any of you who happen to read this have any box tops or are willing to save some, let me know!! The school could definitely use them!! :o)

Here are the pics, enjoy! :o)

Sierra's Birthday Party

2009-08-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

Sierra's birthday party was this past Saturday. She seemed to have a really good time! The girl got a TON of scrap booking supplies...and that's all she's been doing for the past 2 days. Hehe..can't say I blame her. I love doing that too! She had 4 friends show up, which was 1 more than last year. All girls this time, which was good. Since it rained right as her party was starting, it gave the girls time to go in to Sierra's room and have some girl time to chat and play with her hamster. That poor animal....I've made her leave it be since then. I figured it needed some space after it had all of those girls handling it, haha. After the rain stopped, the girls and all of the other kids (my Nieces and Nephews) went outside to play soccer in our back yard. And some of them played with Juno, our dog.....who LOVES attention!! I know when the party was over and I brought him back in to the house, he was totally pooped....he got something to drink and then passed out for a few hours, poor thing, haha. Sierra's cake was really good. Rich's youngest Sister, Charlotte, made it for us. Both of Rich's Sisters work at different Walmarts in the bakery and both do such a good job decorating cakes. Rich's other Sister, Miranda made Sierra's cake last year, but she was at a wedding on Saturday, so I asked Charlotte to do it. Sierra was happy with it and that is all that matters!
I wasn't in such a fantastic mood on Saturday though, which made it difficult to get in to the party host mood. I woke up feeling like crap...my ear hurt, sore throat, stuffy nose and cramps. Yeah, I was so pleased. Thankfully Sierra and her friends are old enough now to where I don't have to constantly be watching over them!! I could rest and stay inside while the guys were in the garage having guy time. I still don't feel good at all, but I'm trying to ignore it...which is easier said then done I'm afraid.
Ty's 7th birthday is coming up as well, his birthday is September 13th. He was a Friday the 13th baby...which Rich and I use as an excuse for his mood swings and such, lol. I have no idea what we're doing for that, but I figure I better start planning if we're gonna BBQ or just get pizza. I think with kids his age, it's best to just pick up some pizza's and let them at it. I know Ty won't care either way...which is good. He's the easier one where Sierra is pickier and cares more about things. But she is the girl..
Anyways, here are some of the pics. Sierra's best present this year was the digital camera my Mom and Dad sent her. Sierra didn't even know the package got delivered...her, Rich and Ty were at the pool and I just hid it in my room. She did get a card and a check from my Parents and that is what she thought was her present and she was kinda bummed. LOL...needless to say, she was very surprised and sooooo happy when she opened the box and saw a camera!! She's taken a million pics...mostly of our dog, but whatever makes her happy I suppose. :o)

Two whole hands!!

2009-07-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

Today is Sierra's 10th birthday. It's so hard to believe she's 10...that's 2 whole hands!! I remember spending days teaching her to hold up 1 finger right before she was about to turn 1...now she's gotta hold up all her fingers, lol. Kinda bittersweet ya know? She's growing up...in 3 more years she'll be a teen, in 6 more years she'll be driving (yikes), in 8 more years she'll be graduating High School and in 11 more years she'll be able to go to bars....ughh! Wish I could keep her little forever, if I could, she wouldn't be a day over 2!! She was such a happy little girl!!

For her actual birthday, Rich's Mom wanted her to have a present. So she took her to Petsmart and surprised her by letting her pick out a hamster. Sierra was thrilled!!! She chose a dwarf hamster and it's super cute! It's a boy, they only had boys, but Sierra and I decided to just tell everyone it's a girl, haha. Poor thing's gonna have gender identity issues, haha! She named 'her' Peanut-July. Not sure what is up with the double name, but I told Sierra we could call her PJ fr short....not sure if she liked that too much. Sierra and Ty have been in Sierra's room all morning watching PJ play in her cage. The dumb thing gets stuck on her wheel...she'll be running too fast and her foot will come out from under her and the next thing you know, she's hanging upside down at the top of her wheel. The kids got a big laugh outta that one! I did too..it was pretty funny! :o)

Sierra has been taking a million pics of PJ. I uploaded 3 of them. PJ is a little cutie! Now Ty wants one, which I figured he would...but I told him nope. Maybe when he's 10 I'll let him. He's only turning 7 in September, so he's got 3 years until that happens, but I bet he will remember. That boy doesn't forget ANYTHING!! Our poor dog doesn't know what to think about the new addition. He didn't even notice it and I thought he probably wouldn't since he rarely goes in to Sierra's room, but once he saw it running on her wheel...he started whining really bad. I let him sniff the cage (which is a glass aquarium...which we did on purpose..that way Juno can't get her!) and he started licking the glass. Juno's a crazy dog, but he's really a sweetheart. He just wants to play with it. Sierra closed her bedroom door and Juno hated it!! About drove me crazy with his constant whining and barking, haha! I am so proud of Sierra though...she is being such a good Momma to PJ. She was concerned when PJ started eating her bedding...I told her not to worry about it. It's fine. She loves how PJ runs through the 2 toilet paper rolls we put in her cage. I told Sierra we should start saving them because PJ will eat them also.

Anyways, here are the 3 pics....she is really a cutie!! She won't get any bigger than 2 inches and I bet she's close to that now. We don't know how old she is, but the lady at Petsmart told Sierra she'll live for 2 to 3 years...so I'm sure Sierra will have some good years with her. :o)

Little Peanut July....PJ for short! :o)

What an entrance!! :o)

2009-07-24T15:53:00.001-07:00

So got this emailed to me, it's too adorable not to pass on! I think more people should definitely do this at their weddings!!! :o)

Alice in Wonderland

2009-07-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I have loved Johnny Depp since I was a kid. I totally remember watching him in 21 Jumpstreet with my Parents. :o) Awhile back I heard about Tim Burton making a new Alice in Wonderland and Johnny was going to be cast as the Mad Hatter...which totally excited me!! I found pics of some of the characters and a trailer...which just makes me that much more excited for that movie!! Thought I would share it... Johnny doesn't look hot in the movie....more creepy and weird, but it's still him, haha!

Horrible Treatment of Animals

2009-07-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

So....I don't always agree with PETA, think sometimes they take things a wee bit too far (Like dousing people with fake blood when they're wearing fur, or throwing flour on them, etc.) I think the best way to get people to see things from your point of view is to educate them, show them proof of what you are saying...don't take radical steps against them. I came across this on Perez Hilton's web site this morning and thought I had to post it somewhere. It made me so sad. A PETA member went undercover at the Barnum & Baily's Ringling Brother's Circus and shot some disturbing footage of how the trainers beat the elephants with bull hooks and how they whip their tigers. You can plainly see the poor elephants flinch every time they are hit. You may be thinking that elephants have a tough hide, they probably can't feel it. But they can...some of them even make a noise I've never heard before. Poor things. Just totally broke my heart!

I've been to a few of those circus's when I was younger and loved them. I still love them. I just wish that if they are going to be working with animals, they need to be properly trained on how to take care of them. I mean come on now....beating an elephant with a bull hook and poking it thru their skin and pulling them with it is unacceptable! It's cruel! It obviously hurts them! And their trainers think it's a joke. While watching the clip I didn't understand why the elephants just didn't squish their trainers....I mean come on now...they are soo much bigger than the guys/girls abusing them. Why not do that to stop their pain? Well....some of those elephants have been with them since they were born, so they have some sort of connection with the same people who abuse them. It's ashame! Such ashame!

Anyways, here's the clip:

http://www.nydailynews.com/video/?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=3976421

So freaking excited!!

2009-07-13T20:27:00.000-07:00

One of our friends was just on WWE's RAW!!! He's been under a developmental contract for some time now and is working at FCW in Florida. It's sad he moved from here to there, we all miss him, but it's awesome for him and his now Wife!! Anyways....if you were able to watch RAW tonight, he was the skinny black man who was reffing during the Big Show/Evan Bourne match! Rich, Ty and I were sooo excited and proud! We were eagerly awaiting to see him...every time a match started we looked to see if it was him or not. And when it was him, it was almost unreal. It's so completely amazing that he's there! He's living out his dream and that is all anyone wants to do in life!! :o) His WWE name is Noah Wilson, but he'll always be Justin or "Tally" to us.. :o)

Here's his debut on WWE RAW!! :o)

Family...it's what makes the heart tick

2009-07-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

My family is the most important thing to me...period. Not work, not money, not friends, not anything. I've been living here in Illinois for just slightly over 10 years now. Ten freaking years!! Oh how time flies! It took some time, but Rich's family has fully embraced me (or embraced me as much as they are going too) and I feel completely comfortable around them and love them to pieces. As a person should when they've been apart of said family for the past 11 years. There were many times when I felt so alone living here, I just wanted my people around...my family, my Mom, my Dad, my annoying Brother, my Cousins, etc. I miss them like crazy!! Thankfully my family is in a position where they can afford to travel to come visit us a few times a year. My Brother followed me to Illinois a few years after I moved here and got engaged. It didn't work out with her and he moved back to New Jersey. That kinda bummed me out! It was nice having someone who was my family here. My parents come one to two times a year...they alternate Christmas between my Brother and his family and us. Which is fair. We try to go down every Thanksgiving so we can see everyone and they can see us and the kids. Plus, it's just nice to be back in New Jersey and on the East Coast. It's funny how when I was living there I couldn't wait to move outta there, but now I have moments where I still wish I did. I guess you can take the girl outta the East Coast, but not the East Coast outta the girl! :o)

Anyways, my Grandparents, Sierra and Ty's Great Grandparents came and visited us last Tuesday and Wednesday. They were traveling through Illinois on their way to Western Iowa. They are a part of a group called NOMADS, which is a Christian Missionary group that travels through out the US and helps rebuild houses and such that were destroyed by tornadoes, hurricanes, floods or just need to be revamped. They've been doing that for 10 years this year. They sold their house and every piece of furniture in it and bought a really nice motor home and have lived in that. We haven't been in their newer one, so when they decided on Tuesday to stay another day, we went over to Mahomet (Tin Cup Campground by Lake of the Woods) where they camp when they're here and had a BBQ. It was so nice to have my Grandma's cooking again!! Even if all she did actually cook was the potatoes for the potato salad and my Grandpa and Ty grilled the chicken. :o)

I always get antsy when they come because I know I was such a failure in my Grandmother's eyes growing up. It was no secret that my Brother and I were not her favorites. My Mom chalks it up now to Grandma just being hard on us because she wanted better for us. Well, in my opinion...there are better ways to show love than that! But...that's just me holding grudges. I want so much to have her approve of me, my family and what we do. She tells me she does, but parts of me doubt that while the other parts of me are jumping up and down with excitement because I am no longer looked upon as a screw up! I wish I could have the relationship with my Grandma now when I was a teenager. Maybe I wouldn't have resented spending time with them? Maybe I would have shown her that I was just as much worth her attention and love as the rest of her Grandchildren? I don't know, I know I let her down...I let myself down a lot back then, but drowned all of those thoughts out by doing things I had no business doing!! Which I won't get in it.

I want nothing more than Sierra and Ty (and Arianna) to have the same memories that I do of spending time with their Great Grandparents. I will never forget going to my Grandma's house each holiday and walking up to their front door and smelling the turkey and walking in to their kitchen and seeing my Grandma and Great Grandmothers manning the stove and the ovens. I'll never forget them all dressed up in their holiday best wearing aprons covered in flour or splashed with gravy or whatever else. The smells of the wonderful food my Grandma always made and their different perfumes. I want my kids to be able to spend time with their Grandparents and Great Grandparents and look back when they're my age and reminisce like I sometimes do and know how loved they were by everyone when they were growing up!

My Grandparents are in their early 80's. I asked my Grandma how much longer they'll be travelling before they stop and establish a home again. She said a couple more years and they'll have to stop. My Grandparents don't look like they're in their 80's, they don't act like it either. They are some of the most active people I know. It's gonna be really tough on me when the time comes to where they just can't safely travel across the country to see us anymore. I don't even wanna think about that! I've found myself thinking about my Parents getting older and them not being able to travel here as often too and I usually end up one sobbing mess. I get worried about my Dad....he has grand mal seizures, has sleep apnea, had surgery for it and it didn't work, so he sleeps every night with a CPAP machine. As a kid, you think you're Parents are going to be around forever, but it's when you too become an adult and a Parent that you realize nothing lasts forever. Nothing is granted, not even tomorrow. I talk to my Parents every week, my Brother's Wife about once a week or so and I email my Grandparents only when they email me. I really should step up and keep in better contact with everyone. Especially since everyone has email addys now...well, just about everyone.

In ending....here is a pic of my kiddos with their Great Grandparents in their Motor Home after dinner on July 8th, 2009.

Ok, so I couldn't choose which one to put up, so I just put both! :o)

It's a long trip alone

2009-07-12T17:13:00.000-07:00

I am in a rutt. A bad one. I'm super depressed...which is odd. In my own defense though...I am about to start my period...so me being super hormonal and stuff I really don't have much control over. I'm trying like Hell to keep my bitchiness in check, but it's been really hard. I am stressed to the max. Sierra's bday is in exactly 2 weeks from tomorrow. We have zero money to do much of anything for her. She just wanted a BBQ with the family, which sounds fine and is a lot easier than planning out a party for her friends, etc. But...we have no money to buy anything for the bbq. We are barely making it as it is. Rich does the bills, he always has, he always will, so I don't know too much about that (which I should, I know...but whatever), but I do know that we wait as long as we can before the bills are late to pay them and we have to let some be late, or we don't pay them in full. I know Rich hates going in there and not paying it all. I know he hates paying them period. We as a family don't have too much fun anymore. We're always home or we're at the pool. But really....with all of my stress and this current fucking bout with depression, I have felt soooo ridiculously self concious about my weight and what I look like in a bathing suit that I don't even want to go. Rich and the kids are at the pool now and I'm at home. But like I said before, in my own defense I'm about to start my period and bloated and cramping like you wouldn't believe!! Ughh...it's days like this that I wish my Dr. would have listened to my drugged up begging when I was sprawled out on the OR table after having Ty when I was asking her to just take everything out, I was done having kids. Ok...so maybe I really don't wish that....I want another child, sooner rather than later....and everyone knows it.

Rich told me his Dad told him yesterday that they are struggling too. Everyone is...it sucks. I have to register the kids for school on August 5th and registration fees per child are $80. Can you believe that??? Per child!! Rich and I don't have an extra $160 lying around let alone an extra $20. Thankfully I can fill out a paper and get that fee waived since I don't work and since we're on a LINK card and all. The kids will get free lunches again this year too I'm sure. Which Rich hates! Rich hates all of the help we're getting because he grew up in a family that recieved all of this help and he always said he wasn't gonna allow his kids to grow up in similar situations. Well unfortunately...we didn't save ANY money for a recession...and we're broke as a joke!! I pray every day that he will still have his job at the end of the week! Especially since we just resigned our lease and the jackass raised our rent to $850 a month. Ughh! I could have a mortgage that would be less than that a month! I don't get it....our land lord hasn't done shit to this house since we've lived in it....I don't get why he needed to raise the rent. Probably to pay for his own mortage in his uppity Chicago neighborhood!! Asshole! <---See, told ya I was not in a good mood...this funk is making me a mean bitch.....even meaner than normal, haha.

A country singer I really like, Randy Houser, is coming to a local bar here soon and performing which is AWESOME!! I wish like Hell we could go. But, we can't. I told Rich about him coming, but I'm not even gonna pry about getting tix, which are only $15 each. That's $30 I could spend towards rent or gas or whatever else. I don't ask for anything anymore....I know better. But I just came across something that ticked the shit outta me! I sat down at the computer desk and wondered why an envelope was just chilling by where we shove our bills. I looked at it and opened it....Rich won a baseball card off of eBay. Yes, he's allowed to buy whatever he wants, afterall HE does earn ALL of the money for this family, but still....when I told him I needed more moose for my hair, he got sooo irritated that I had the audacity to say I wanted him to buy me some. So yeah...being that my hormones are coursing thru my body all kinds of crazy, I am not too pleased! I'm gonna try like Hell not to say anything. I'll just pretend I didn't see it. And really, it's less than $2.50, but still....my moose wasn't much more than that and he wanted to get all huffy and puffy.

Alrighty...I think I'll just end this now...no need to work myself up. Especially when I have the house to myself!! For the next half hour at least! And then Army Wives will come on at 9 and things will be good! :o) I hope this isn't how the rest of this week is gonna be!

OHHH...but I will write on here that one of our good friends who has had a developmental contract with the WWE and has been reffing (he's not a wrestler) for FCW....is finally getting his chance and WILL be on WWE RAW tomorrow night!!! I haven't watched RAW in such a long time, but I sure am gonna sit down and watch it and wait until we see Justin, who's WWE name is Noah Wilson. His Brother told us yesterday and we're thrilled!! WWE is coming to Bloomington or Springfield (can't remember which) in August and I wish we could go and see him do what he does best! Oh well. We did just see him at his wedding a few weeks ago, which was awesome...we hadn't seen him since October (I think) of 2008 when he had to move down to Florida. We missed him! Ali, I know your Hubby likes WWE....you should tell him to watch for Noah Wilson if he can get the feed since he's away on duty. :o) Hope you all have a good week.....I'm gonna try to stay away from blogging this week so it won't all be me bitching, haha.

Comfy in my own skin??

2009-07-04T20:14:00.000-07:00

People always tell me I'm strong and how they envy how I don't let people get me down. How I could care less about what people say or think about me. And I suppose all of that is true to an extent. I always thought everyone was like that, but apparently not.

I am not one who really gives a shit about what people think about how I look, dress, act, talk, etc. I am me, I like the Hell outta who I am and I am loved, so that is all that matters right? Well...it completely blows me away how hearing someone talk smack about my weight will just rial me up..especially someone whose opinion I don't value. I will never understand why I allow it to get to me. If anyone else would say something, I'd tell them where they can shove their opinions, because they can't say or think anything that I haven't said or thought about myself already. I don't need to be told I'm fat...HELLO...don't you think I already know this? I do see myself naked every day... And what I also don't understand is how I don't confront this person or anything. I always think of things to say after the fact, which isn't like me at all. I"m usually quite vocal when someone pisses me off or does something to me, my kids, Hubby or family that I don't like or agree with. But, I just sat there and listened to what they were saying, all of their snide shitty comments. I wonder if they were said just loud enough for me to hear? Ughh!

I don't see why people think they need to talk about other people's weight? I mean, I'm guilty of that as well. Pretty recently really. I'm sorry,but if you're as big as me, or even a little bit smaller and have huge fat rolls, you have no business in a small bikini! I don't care who you are or where you are! And I'm not hating on anyone because they're fat, I"m hating on them because they look ridiculous! Big difference.

I don't know....one day I'm gonna just strangle such said person. One day I'm not gonna bit my tongue and some words are gonna be exchanged. One day I'm gonna put this person in their place.. One day maybe this person will realize that a person's self worth and value isn't measured by how much they weigh!! I am a big girl, I am happy, have a great Hubby who loves me to death and 2 great kiddos...who at times drive me up the wall, haha. If I'm happy and have a good life, isn't that all that should matter?

Give it up...Baby??

2009-06-30T16:20:00.000-07:00

My mind has been all over this subject....and I always seem to come to the same conclusion, even though I tend to tell people the direct oppposite. I want another baby...some people do indeed know this, most do not....unless I am not as good as keeping it a complete secret as I thought I was. Ever since my miscarriage over 2 years ago I can't help but wonder about the what ifs. Sure...that's a big ol' waste of time and there is nothing I can do change the situation, but what if I could? I'd have a 2 year old around Thanksgiving time of this year. I'd have 4 kids instead of 3. I'd be chasing around a toddler on top of Sierra and Tyler....and the dog, haha. When Rich's Sister, Charlotte had Mya....I was fine. I was a little upset over her being pregnant since I had recently miscarried, but I was fine with Mya and there being a baby around.

Ughh..Rich and the kids are home, I'll finish this later...

My list of "Why's"

2009-06-24T16:55:00.000-07:00

Why is it that people are praising Jon & Kate on getting a divorce? Divorce should always be the last resort, especially when there are kids involved..even though most people don't have 8.
Why is it that gas prices go up by as much as $.15 over night just to go back down by $.02 the next day? Especially when I hear on the news that the national average is at it's lowest it has been recently....apparently they have never been to Central Illinois and tried to fill up their tanks!
Why is it that my Husband who works 40 hours a week at a shitty ass job would make over $100 MORE on unemployment than he does as an employed?
Why will no one give me a damn job?
Why do gay people think it's ok to call other people a 'faggot' but when someone calls them one they flip out? I feel the same way about black people and their use of 'nigga' and anyone else who uses any other racial slur.
Why do people think it's ok to let their little kids go to the public pool in their underwear and then argue with the lifeguards about not knowing they couldn't swim in the drawers?
Why is it that the government won't allow gays and lesbians to marry and have the same rights as a man and woman married couple? Really....they aren't hurting anyone!!
Why do so many American couples look out of the country to adopt children rather than in our own? I know first hand how many children are in need of adoption from when my Oldest was being put up for adoption. I will never forget seeing all of those children in their basement playroom. Never!
Why do people automatically think that just because people are big that they smell or aren't as good as skinny people? I am big, I don't smell and I'm just as damn good as you!! I don't have any diseases and you can't catch 'fat' from me or anyone else.
Why is health insurance so damn expensive? Sure, the people who work in the health field need to be payed, but it has become so expensive that MOST people can't afford even the most generic coverage....myself included.
Why are people being so hard on Obama already? He's only one person and he never said he was going to be able to fix everything. I mean, look at all of the issues left behind by George W....give the man some more time to deal with things. He made promises...and I believe he's gonna try his damndest to come through on as many of them as he can.
Why do I still get telemarketing calls even though I put our phone number on the do not call list at least 2 times? Seriously...you'd think after I haven't answered the first 100 times you call, I'm not gonna ever pick up!
Why do bill collectors feel the need to call more than once in a row with in the same minute? If I didn't answer the first time...what makes you think I'm now gonna answer? I know you want your money....get in line!!
Why do people think a stay at home Mother is not a job? I am a maid, cook, baby sitter, doctor, teacher, taxi driver, etc. Being a stay at home Mom is not always an easy job!!
Why do bad things come in three's? I mean...isn't one bad thing at a time enough?